Dayam something about those girls haha. The ones that want u are ones u dont want. And the ones u do want u dont have a chance with. Or maybe this is just my story? Hah oh yup my story haha. Blah i hate that. Its enough to drive ne man crazy. Some u know ull never have a chance with...they're juss to dayam good 4 u. Others just want u as a freind. And then theres those kind that ur really not sure about. U have a thing 4 them...but do they have a thing 4 u? Ur to scared to ask 4 fear of rejection. Or other complications of course can add in to the fear of simply asking.

So then u have ur freinds pushing 4 u. hah that ones ALWAYS a killer. Peer-preasure really is a bitch haha. "go 4 it man" gawd i wish i could hah. hah "its seems so much easier doing nothing than doing something". And its true. While doing nothing ur "hope" is never lost. cuz theres always a "chance". But can a guy really live off of hope? i mean wat if its false hope? haha then let it be. With confidence nice and low doing nothing is all that a guy can do. But now now dont think that a guys confidence drops after one rejection. Well alrite maybe some. But this "guy" i speak of has gone through more than one "rejection". a lifetime of different examples id rather not mention has slowly eaten away at this "guys" confidence.

ok so maybe he should juss suck it up and get the job done. "Ur a man! have some ballz!" is wat some would say. But trust me...this kid has less ballz than tom green. And that man only has one! So until this kids testicular fortitude greatens he plans on layin low. i mean why add another rejection to the list? Time can do wonderous things. is that really wat hes waiting 4? Time? Things can change within a blink of an eye either in his favor or not. Its a gamble. But at least his heart isnt in on this bet. Safe way to be.

heh all i have to say is im no man's pinch hitter. Im no substitue and i will not become one. U wanna know wat holds me back? Its u. U may have given me reasons to go 4 it. But at the sametime i can give u reasons why i shouldnt. And after the conversation that one nite...it was clear that if there were a "battle" ud win. U know this. As do i. I dont understand u these days. Don't talk to u enough to get u ne more. But wen we do im sorry, but my trust seems to waver. I dont want it too...and i feel bad that it does. but its just the truth. Hah sall gravy...some guys get the girl, others dont. I know im never meant to get the girl. ive learned that over time. watever....ive had enough.











The alarm rings. 7AM. yup usual time. Hits the shower. Gets out. Eats. gets dressed. Hops into his car. Hits the music...possibly the best time of the day. Nobody but him, his favorite "happy music", and a road that will never judge him 4 who he is. He arrives at skool. But be 4 walking out the door into the land of social classes, he puts on the mask worn 4 so many years and prepares himself 4 another day.
posted by Philip at 11:04 PM